Special Feeling Part 1 of 6

A discussion between Bernard and Cameron about when we have thoughts of "special feelings" towards another. Copied from the Desteni forum.  (Also read the document on emotions)
 Part 1

 

And we continue on the Understanding of How the Resonant Alignments is Structured within Relationships and why Relationships are Not ‘Agreements’ that you are the Directive Principle-of.

You’ll find a Fascinating thing is that there are within your Relationship in this world, a curious thing that is ‘Guiding’-you, you have this ‘Feeling’, this ‘Feeling’ that there is a ‘special place’ for you and you are looking for this ‘place’, and this ‘special place’ is a ‘special person’ – with which you can share your life – it is a ‘special job’ where you are enjoying what you’re doing and you’re comfortable, and it is a ‘special relationship with Creation’ or some ‘Greater Power’ that confirms your Purpose to be in Affect within Alignment of this ‘Greater Power’ so that you can ‘Live-out your life’ without a ‘worry’ because you have ‘found’ the ‘Purpose’, the ‘Reason’, ‘Why you Exist’ that was ‘given to you’ – and therefore, you stop all questioning and you Live-out the Answer you have ‘received’ – whether it’d be Religious, Job-wise or Relationship-wise.

Now this whole thing, let’s start with Relationships – has been Programmed into ‘Layers’ or ‘Phases’ or ‘Comparisons’. Now in Afrikaans the word ‘die Stappe van Vergelyking’ that is ‘Stages of Likeness’ it is all a movement from a ‘smaller’-point to a ‘larger’-point, it is – what is those words used when you say words like ‘Best-Better’ – ‘Best’ – Eh?

Cameron: Superlative?

Bernard: Is that Superlatives? Comparative, Superlatives

Ok that’s what makes Life all more ‘Super’ isn’t it? ‘Superlative’s, it is the Relativity of Superlatives, Superlatively I mean: ‘Super-Relativity’, you wanna move from one word to a word that is ‘bigger’ and a word that is ‘bigger’ and that makes you feel ‘more’ and ‘more’ and ‘more’ until you have found the point where you are ‘Equal’ to the ‘Feeling’ that is in-you.

This ‘Feeling’ you become aware of quite early on in Life and once it starts to ‘show’ it tends-to ‘overpower’ everything you do in your ‘Search’, your ‘Seeking’ for ‘Reason and Purpose’, your seeking for the place ‘where you belong’ in this Reality – once you have or you are within that point obviously it’s going-to ‘fuck with you’ in quite a various number of ways.

If you dare to be Self-Honest within the Observation of the ‘Levels of Comparison’ that you ‘move-through’ as you are searching for this ‘Feeling’ that you ‘believe’ is ‘you’, you’ll notice a peculiar thing that the tendency of this ‘Feeling’ is: to ‘Isolate’-you or ‘Pin-point’-you, or ‘Direct’-you more and more to a singularity, a ‘singular-position’ where you feel your ‘Position’ in this Reality as ‘fully-defensible’ – you can ‘defend yourself’ in all-ways and you are satisfied with your ‘position’ and ‘nobody can move you’ and you’ll ‘stick’ with-that ‘Until Death do you part’ from this Reality. This is also even embedded within the Contract of Marriage in terms of ‘Death do you part’ within that Construct – so how does it ‘Operate’?

You will for instance start within your ‘Teenage-years’ with a peculiar experience where you suddenly become aware of the ‘opposite-sex’, of the ‘Desire to be with someone else’ because it makes you feel ‘special’- have a look how it starts - it start as a sudden ‘Energetic-Awareness’ within you, you’ll find it curious that before that ‘Energy’ started you normally would have a ‘problem’ with the ‘opposite-sex’ and do not want to be ‘near-them’- but suddenly, you become ‘aware’ of this Feeling and it becomes quite ‘over-powering’ and this Feeling is ‘Driven’ by one-singular-thing: you want to Explore Sexuality, the only thing that prevents you from doing that, is all the ‘Fear’ messages that’s been given to you during your upbringing by the Parents and your Religions that ‘you should wait’ with Sex till you are a ‘certain’-age and you are ‘mature-enough’ because if you would have Sex too early, there’ll be Children and you’re not yet ready to Educate Children – but you can’t help yourself and you’ll Design all kinds of ‘Secret Ways’ to have ‘Secret Meetings’ where you will Explore Sexuality as a Child – this starts at various ages, and within that you are so consumed by your Desire that you really don’t care about anything-else and you will ‘push’ that point and that point will cause-you to Develop quite a number of ‘Survival Techniques’ which is based on ways of Deceiving everyone around you so that they do not find-out what you are really doing. And this is all Part of Developing your ‘Deceptive Nature’, the way to Deceive another and you are Integrating this in your ‘teenage-years’ which is the Time of the ‘Emotional-Body’ to a great extent so that when it comes-to later life, you can ‘live it out’ without any trouble and with ‘great ease’ to make sure that ‘The Secret’ you are desiring to ‘fulfil’, the ‘Feeling’, the Point of ‘Power’, the Point of ‘Position’ that you can ‘Live this out’ with Effectiveness and Control and nobody ever find-out the Real thoughts that went-in behind the ‘planning-out’ of what you’re doing.

But now in your ‘teenage-years’ you will now Explore-this and you’ll move between Relationships. Now, what is fascinating within-this is that: as long as the Person submit to your ‘advances’ for sexuality, you tend to be with them – if they would ‘Reject’ you, and they are not particularly ‘popular’ you will attack them and you will say ‘nasty’ things about them and you’ll try and ‘move-them’ or ‘place-them’ already in the category of being either a ‘whore’ or someone that has got some ‘sexual-dysfunction’ – while it’s obviously not true but at a ‘teenage-age’ when you are searching for ‘your feeling’, ‘your desire’, you’ll have no-morality whatsoever and you will Harm extensively. And I mean you all have seen this happen or even participated in this to a great extent, where when whenever you cannot get ‘your way’ – we have the same thing happening with Desteni where we will get messages on the ‘Private Message’ where proposals of marriage and sex is made and if that is not answered or rejected, then the being will become very Nasty and attack- Frosti2008 is one of them that started with ‘Love messages’ and then it all turned into Hate, it just shows the absolute ‘maturity’ of the being and how they’re being Controlled by their ‘Feeling’ they believe is ‘real’ – and then obviously Manipulates as much as possible and all the Fools that follow ‘fall’, because they’re only looking-at what is being presented, they’re not looking at the CommonSense Point and ‘How’ the Energy and the Feeling actually ‘Operates’, they have no Actual Understanding of this Reality.

Any form of ‘Spiritual Process’ that is presented in this world that do-not Explore the Actuality of ‘How’ things are Actually ‘coming-together’ which everyone in this Reality has Actually-Lived, is Deception, it’s based on this Deception of Looking for this ‘Feeling’ and is Manipulation, and will take-you Nowhere.

The Everlasting Gift of Love

Many people during the Holiday Seasons do volunteer work for the needy - they give them food and clothing.  But what about this - Why do we not as a group bring about a practical solution that will stop the need for charity - because all have what they need by birthright.

If it where not for our believe that “profit” is the way to a happy and fulfilling life- All of us/humanity, could be living in dignity. What I am asking is that you look at how our current system is abusive to those who do not have the opportunity for good education and adequate food and shelter just because they do not have money. And the need for profit - always creates and unbalance - because profit in big corporations, is having more than another. We can see how this has caused untold abuse and raping of earth resources and using people as slave labor to achieve this. So what I am saying is we need to change what we have accepted and allowed for so many life times. The salvation of this world is only waiting FOR US - to make that change from thinking we need to live in a profit and loss system.

Those who are involved with Desteni are a group of people exploring Oneness and Equality principles. With in this we are investigating a practical solution to end poverty and abuse. We have come up with what we are calling an Equal Money System. It is in it infancy stages and is being scrutinized and developed bit by bit daily.

We are supporting BIG (Basic Income Grant) and from there we can move even further in support of a Life that is Best for all living things via the Equal Money System.

 

So what can be an Everlasting Gift you can give to All?

 A Gift that will change the very nature of who we have become and will support the future children as generations to come.

We are Humanity - whether alive now or in the future - What kind of Future would you like to be born into?

Christmas - means Christ in MASS - The mass of humanity living the words of Christ - Give to another what you would like given to you. That means adequate food, shelter and education to live a dignified life. Lets stop the word destitute and bring about heaven on earth.

I am not say to stop giving to the poor at this time - but along with this, start to support a system that will end poverty altogether.

There are many ways to get evolved.

Start using the Equal Money Badge on Facebook - support those supporting a change.

Look into the Equal Money Website

Could Stargate be telling us something?

We as a species have not evolved yet. We have done this 11 times = billions of years each time. Do these picture look familiar? We have allowed ourselves to believe that God will punish abusers and we will go to heaven if we are good. This type of brainwashing allows abdication of responsibly making us slaves to an imagined savior.

Each time we miss this one point - that of equality. We have lived as self-interest and not Common interest. This is evident in everything we do. Even LOA is deceptive and abusive to LIFE - Meaning we want for ourselves and do not consider what is best for all.

The planets Eco systems are being destroyed because of greed and profit. People want to live like the rich and famous and are calling this manifesting when in fact - this is only self interest and not considering what would be best for all HERE. For example to have a life of the rich and famous - one needs slaves to do the labor for the things one wants.  We go on buying sprees to fulfill a temporary high - but do not see that half the world is starving through abuse, neglect and products of capitalism. Desteni has a solution that would benefit all of Earth, mankind, animals and nature - where all can live a dignified life together. This would be of the highest good - and would be the greatest act of compassion ever seen in human history. We have this One Life to do this - otherwise we go back to not remembering AGAIN- and start all over. How many times to we need to allow ourselves to believe that suffering from abuse is okay?

Dare to Stand Up as Yourself as LIFE

Lets start with an Equal Money System -

With the Equal Money System as showed by BIG, this will be done on a global scale - as a living statement of valuing all life equally - It will be the greatest act of compassion ever seen in human history.

Change our programed nature and Desteni 

Backchat - Living Imagination as Truth

I was calling a person about their add on craigslist. The first person I got on the phone and talked to,  I decided I liked him. Then I had to call back and a woman answered. In my backchat I did not like her tone. I even went to the point of “gossiping” my opinion about them to another. When we got there to see the item they were selling, she was the one who talked to us. She was really cool - and when I left I was so pleased with the purchase and how she handled it, that I thanked her profusely. I then saw how I judged her just from her tone of voice. What I did within my mind that I wasn’t aware of at the time, was most likely I had, had a bad experience, or watched a move or read a book where I perceived that a person had this tone. I labeled her as she is jealous because a woman called (me) and asked for Tom because he was the one I talked to before. I assumed her tone was jealous - and I went into all kinds of imagination of what type of person she probably was.

After meeting her I was actually ashamed of my thoughts that I had about her.

And wondered where in the world I came up with those thoughts and even more so that I allowed myself to follow these thought as true without even meeting the person.

This proved to me how we live in a fantasy world within our head of imaginations and live our life as if these imaginations are truths.

Within the Desteni I Process I am learning through daily writing and self-awareness to watch my thoughts and what I am accepting and allowing. By doing the I process - I was able to see my judgments within this point of how a person can be trigger by a tone of voice. 

I like this Quote from a fellow Destonian:
 The entire Mind is an Alternate Reality, therefore we ground ourselves as life as breath that is here as the physical that I am.

My visit to the Desteni Farm

A little about me - I am 58 years old. My job experience have been:

8 years radiologist technician

30 years waitress (I preferred waitress to hospital work - as hospital exploits people for money.)

And in-between waitress, I had a couple of small businesses and other odd jobs.

I am now in College and work part time. 

After my first year on the Desteni forum I went to stay with the group at the Desteni farm in South Africa. I stayed for 3 months. It was a great experience. I am from the USA and have never been that far from home. Some people were concerned about this trip - Going somewhere were when you haven’t met someone except on the Internet type of fear. Through my year of interaction with them and all the assistance they gave others and me free of charge (which I though was amazing) I knew there was nothing to fear, I only had an excitement to travel that far and meet these wonderful people.

When I got there, they are no different than you and me - we had group dinners where we took turn cooking for everyone. There were many animals, dogs, cats, horses, chickens and a large garden. I got a warm welcome as was let to be for a few days from the long trip. After that I got into the grove and found things to assist with around the farm. There are always many projects going on. At night we would watch a movie in the living room or just do our own thing. In my mind I wondered about being face to face with Bernard and the Dimensions, what would it be like to meet a dimensional person? And Bernard? There was a fear of that, only because I knew they understood deception, and I didn’t know how it would be to be around someone like that, funny how we trip out in our minds. I though it would be intimidating - but that was just me. I don’t know how to explain it except… I felt safe with them, even if self dishonesty was exposed, because I knew they do not take things personally or accuse anyone, just point out things that will assist one to drop illusions of the mind. So this was really cool. All in all, it was a cool experience to experience myself with a group of people who have dedicated themselves to make a difference - people who want to bring in a new paradigm - first by exposing the abuse of how we are living and treating ourselves and others - so we my see how we created this within the world. And then we learn how to live as a new paradigm,(Equal Money) one that treats all equally taking into account of what is best and supportive for all of life.

You are taught not to question God- for GODs sake!

 I just had a conversation with --- and wow - she does not agree with the equal money system - I cant believe it - that people do not want world change - they just want self change…. I do not know exactly what her resistance to is was -- oh - yea to focus on what is wrong with the world - makes it so - So to focus on people who are suffering because they don’t have enough money to eat - is what is creating it. She said it is pushing against it. I feel that avoiding seeing what is HERE as our world manifestation is the resistance and she actually got angry saying I DO NOT WATCH THE NEWS. She did admit that if it was her in a position of not enough money she might think differently. But she said if it was her reality then she would deal with it… Oh boy - this is hard to deal with - meaning I cant convince them that this is what accepting and allowing is. To allow another to have abuse… wow.. Its okay if it isn’t happing to them - wow. . I find myself wanting her to experience something - to see this.. Like when the banking system affects her - then she will get mad at the corruptiveness and enslavement values of our world.

However - I must remember that I once thought this way as well. I thought life was all about me and my happiness- and I did not realize that what I “thought” my happiness was, was programmed into me by my parents and there parents before them - and through television movies and commercials - they told me what happiness was - what I should strive for. And if you bold it down - it all come to HAVING ENOUGH MONEY TO DO THESE THINGS. Even getting married requires money! SO WE PAY TO BE ALIVE. What I didn’t understand at the time was- that I was accepting and allowing this along with the rest of the world. We were duped - granted that  - but who allowed ourself to be dubbed? We did.

I thought that if I was one of those not starving - that God or some force “valued” me in some way over others. This is what we were taught. I couldn’t understand a “God” who allowed this - but hey - then you are taught not to question GOD- for Gods sake! …

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world to exist where abuse is seen as normal for growth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I don’t watch the news and see the corruption and abuse going on in the world -then that means that I am not responsible for it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am only responsible for myself and responsible for my own happiness - and thus within this I forgive myself that I have not seen that happiness in a “world” would include the Whole world - not half of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry at another when they do not see or care that the world is fucked up in fear that then they support the fuckedness, when I fact I was one of those people. And thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to want to see a fucked up world - so I would not have to look at my responsibility within this. Which was to say as long as abuse is not happening to me it is okay - and within this believe, that I have actually supported abuse and thus have contributed to it.

Changing OurSelfs- Desteni (I) Process Life Coaching

Change Our World - Equal Money System - Support a Dignified Life for ALL
 

Wanting More is Creating War

The War Within Creates Wars

How can the abuse that is going on in the world be my fault? I do not rape or kill others.

I was reading lesson one from Desteni I Process called “Self as Creator”.

“With in you exists judgments, morality, jealousy, fear, polarity, anger, uncertainty, inferiority, superiority, inner conflict, sorrow, sadness and separation. These experiences are created form pictures and ideas created by the mind.”

 These experiences create War within = Our World outside.

Something clicked in me - I saw a deception I had not seen or understood clearly.

I was holding onto an idea that what was outside of me was not me. I was seeing it as, “I want the world to change”. I do not deserve a world like this, and am better than what I see as this world. Well what I am seeing is- that all the thoughts, emotions, and feelings I have are creating the energy that feeds the world systems. Thoughts in my mind are no better than everyone else.

I had the believe and desire that I wanted something better, thus creating a friction and polarity and within, I then judged others for wanting to feed their desires that cause abuse, when as desires is a desire - that causes separation and the feeding of less than and lack. So here I am judging others for what they do, and not seeing I am doing the same.

I also saw the backchat saying that I have done enough “good” things, and then the backchat that I am not doing enough. I was a house divided pulling back and forth within me, an internal war, instead of just being HERE - Breath.  To expose who we really are, is not dividing self - it is claming self so we can see what we have been accepting and allowing within our thoughts. It is not to judge ourselves for it, but to allow ourselves to see it within ourselves, so we can stop, breath forgive ourselves for how we have been creating this world - and then change who we have been. To want more is creating War.

We can start to change our nature with the Desteni I Process

And we can start to change our world by supporting the Equal Money System where All of Life will have the chance to live with Dignity

Saviour victim scenario

I am sharing something that Sunette/Dimensions wrote:

An 'urge' that exist within beings - is to want to 'save' or 'help' others, 'giving themselves to others' in the attempt to 'rescue' them - beings seeing others as the 'victims' of their situation/experience, believing that they need someone as an 'saviour'.

For example - you may experience this 'saviour-victim' scenario with your parents, wherein you experience your parents to be the victim of themselves and their situation and because you experience this towards them, you must stand within the role of 'saviour'.
Though - here's an interesting point to consider: Another being within your world may experience the 'saviour-victim' scenario towards you - wherein they see you as an victim of your situation, and because they experience this towards you, they must stand within the role of 'saviour'. Victim-saviour is a similar thing to the triangle of victim, persecutor and rescuer but has the other vital elements of self-honesty and self-dishonesty and self-direction.

So - everyone exist within and as the 'victim-role' with regards to their own 'personal-experiences/situations' - yet attempts/tries to play 'saviour' to/towards others - No-one actually considering standing up for themselves, taking self-responsibility and assisting and supporting others to do the same: Stop being a 'victim' to/towards yourself and your experience/situation, stand up and take self-responsibility for yourself = 'save yourself'.

This acceptance and allowance that exist within beings, of existing as a 'victim' yet wanting to/attempting to save/rescue yourself through others - has gotten no-one, nowhere - because in wanting to 'save someone' - you're making the statement that they're a 'victim', actually supporting their dishonesty and self-victimization - not actually supporting the being themselves.

So - I'd suggest, stop the 'saviour-victim' game within self and towards others - you're not assisting and supporting yourself and you're not assisting and supporting others as you equal and one.

So, with regards to your parents - 'stabilize' yourself first within you and your world - prove to you that you've stood up and taken self-responsibility for you, live self honesty here as breath as you - then from here, you are the living example to be able to actually really assist and support others as you - in being an example of how to take self-responsibility - of how to 'save yourself' and stop accepting and allowing the existence of self in and as self-victimization.

Let go of wanting to save them - first 'save yourself'.

Jack

Check out Desteni I Process  Where we work with self and share with others to overcome our limiting natures

Transcending patterns of co-dependency

With in the Desteni I Process we share what we call back chat with our buddy who support us to see our limiting self patterns that we have accepted and allowed to run our life’s.  This is really cool - because our patterns become so much a part of us - we do not even notice that we are accepting them. Support from others walking this process is paramount for one to see these types of patterns running/ruining our lives and those of others.

I saw some co-dependency back chat thoughts with family and friends. Where I fear I will lose them if they do not understand me. What I am seeing in this is, that I had placed much value on being accepted by my friends. What this did was created a resonate fear within me to convert them to what I am doing so we will “still relate”. Thus I became the convince and convert demon. lol . So within this, as I was doing a rant and rave and set it up as a mind construct, I could see though self honesty and self forgiveness that I had to let go of the fear of not being accepted as that is a patterning believe system that I have accepted and allowed as a fear emotion to make excuses to not do certain things.

The honest part is I have the fear - But the SELF-HONEST, which is self-relation - is I am the one who is allowing this. I also realized that this behavior is not supporting Life. As I am living for a self-imposed illusion of what I think others are thinking and not living my life.

So cool to see this - as I now do not accepted my own belief that I am limited if I do not have the understanding or approval of others.

The Teacher made me do it!

I noticed self-backchat today as I saw a show where someone was promoted in a group. The thought came that there were a few times when I could have been promoted, but wasn’t. I see now that I had been suppressing the feelings I had when that happened.  . - But now, TODAY I saw a flash of  high school - when the gym teacher thought I had skipped class and she was going to make me a leader in gym- and she was disappointed because she thought I was a bad kid- skipping school! I was devastated because she did not believe that I went home sick and she dismissed the qualities that I had to be gym leader. So now I saw that I hold this image in my mind of people not seeing the qualities that I have. And I have become a victim to this silent back chat- in that a part of me wants people to see my worthiness, approve of me and the other part says why bother that teacher thought I was lying… and so will others. So fuck - I have been “vibrating” this resonantly. The vibration as a blame of others in that they do not see what I am capable of  and my value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a belief from a teacher to upset me and allow me to use her belief in me as a reason to not do the best I can.

I am seeing that I feel - my best wont be good enough so why bother. As I work within the Desteni I Process where we are taking our mind constructs apart I notice that I can more and more see my limiting silent back chats. They are becoming visible.

I saw also that this is a reason it has been hard for me to write. I was “thinking” I will be seen as not doing it right and so I fear what to should write about, how I should say it. I was going into lots of mind excuses that end up making me just want to give up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keeping living the fear and let down that I experienced all those years ago in high school.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a teachers opinion of me to affect me as not good or worthy enough and cause fear of acceptance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the idea of doing it right.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of doing it right to affect my life and how I live it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am not a person of worth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself judge myself as not worthy or able.

I forgive myself for letting these thoughts stop me from being all I can be, thus living a life in fear of what others think. 

This is cool, because I have been pushing myself regardless, and because of the pushing and standing even though difficult at times - I have discovered a part of this resonance thought pattern that I can now work with and delete.

I now stop this idea of people wont see my “worth” so why bother

It is a limiting mind program that I DO NOT ACCEPT AND ALLOW AND LONGER

I Now Move Forward in Life - And I take charge

You Can Change at age 57!