My visit to the Desteni Farm

A little about me - I am 58 years old. My job experience have been:

8 years radiologist technician

30 years waitress (I preferred waitress to hospital work - as hospital exploits people for money.)

And in-between waitress, I had a couple of small businesses and other odd jobs.

I am now in College and work part time. 

After my first year on the Desteni forum I went to stay with the group at the Desteni farm in South Africa. I stayed for 3 months. It was a great experience. I am from the USA and have never been that far from home. Some people were concerned about this trip - Going somewhere were when you haven’t met someone except on the Internet type of fear. Through my year of interaction with them and all the assistance they gave others and me free of charge (which I though was amazing) I knew there was nothing to fear, I only had an excitement to travel that far and meet these wonderful people.

When I got there, they are no different than you and me - we had group dinners where we took turn cooking for everyone. There were many animals, dogs, cats, horses, chickens and a large garden. I got a warm welcome as was let to be for a few days from the long trip. After that I got into the grove and found things to assist with around the farm. There are always many projects going on. At night we would watch a movie in the living room or just do our own thing. In my mind I wondered about being face to face with Bernard and the Dimensions, what would it be like to meet a dimensional person? And Bernard? There was a fear of that, only because I knew they understood deception, and I didn’t know how it would be to be around someone like that, funny how we trip out in our minds. I though it would be intimidating - but that was just me. I don’t know how to explain it except… I felt safe with them, even if self dishonesty was exposed, because I knew they do not take things personally or accuse anyone, just point out things that will assist one to drop illusions of the mind. So this was really cool. All in all, it was a cool experience to experience myself with a group of people who have dedicated themselves to make a difference - people who want to bring in a new paradigm - first by exposing the abuse of how we are living and treating ourselves and others - so we my see how we created this within the world. And then we learn how to live as a new paradigm,(Equal Money) one that treats all equally taking into account of what is best and supportive for all of life.

You are taught not to question God- for GODs sake!

 I just had a conversation with --- and wow - she does not agree with the equal money system - I cant believe it - that people do not want world change - they just want self change…. I do not know exactly what her resistance to is was -- oh - yea to focus on what is wrong with the world - makes it so - So to focus on people who are suffering because they don’t have enough money to eat - is what is creating it. She said it is pushing against it. I feel that avoiding seeing what is HERE as our world manifestation is the resistance and she actually got angry saying I DO NOT WATCH THE NEWS. She did admit that if it was her in a position of not enough money she might think differently. But she said if it was her reality then she would deal with it… Oh boy - this is hard to deal with - meaning I cant convince them that this is what accepting and allowing is. To allow another to have abuse… wow.. Its okay if it isn’t happing to them - wow. . I find myself wanting her to experience something - to see this.. Like when the banking system affects her - then she will get mad at the corruptiveness and enslavement values of our world.

However - I must remember that I once thought this way as well. I thought life was all about me and my happiness- and I did not realize that what I “thought” my happiness was, was programmed into me by my parents and there parents before them - and through television movies and commercials - they told me what happiness was - what I should strive for. And if you bold it down - it all come to HAVING ENOUGH MONEY TO DO THESE THINGS. Even getting married requires money! SO WE PAY TO BE ALIVE. What I didn’t understand at the time was- that I was accepting and allowing this along with the rest of the world. We were duped - granted that  - but who allowed ourself to be dubbed? We did.

I thought that if I was one of those not starving - that God or some force “valued” me in some way over others. This is what we were taught. I couldn’t understand a “God” who allowed this - but hey - then you are taught not to question GOD- for Gods sake! …

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world to exist where abuse is seen as normal for growth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I don’t watch the news and see the corruption and abuse going on in the world -then that means that I am not responsible for it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am only responsible for myself and responsible for my own happiness - and thus within this I forgive myself that I have not seen that happiness in a “world” would include the Whole world - not half of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry at another when they do not see or care that the world is fucked up in fear that then they support the fuckedness, when I fact I was one of those people. And thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to want to see a fucked up world - so I would not have to look at my responsibility within this. Which was to say as long as abuse is not happening to me it is okay - and within this believe, that I have actually supported abuse and thus have contributed to it.

Changing OurSelfs- Desteni (I) Process Life Coaching

Change Our World - Equal Money System - Support a Dignified Life for ALL