Saturday, July 25, 2009

Original starting point of separation.

Original starting point of separation.

why the world is so unfair and there is so much abuse to ourselfs and others and nature?

why this is still going on with humans that we fight and kill each other after sooo many life times, after so many examples in history of what power and greed do , and we still do it? And we still do and allow it?

The answer is ---

Life is fucked up for one reason... We want to be special. Which creates spite and spiteful actions towards yourself and others.

Watch your thoughts. Watch the things that make you resentful or sad or angry or judging, frustration, or even the opposite of the coin, happy, blissful etc … It all has to do with the idea of being Special.

Underneath all of these emotions that we experience you will see that you were Not feeling special and if you were feeling or thinking you were special notice how fast that feeling will leave and then you fight within yourself to get it back
Think of EVERY atrocity that has ever been done. What do you think the starting point was… Wanting to be special.

This idea starts as a kid to the end of our life. Fighting to be special. And then we die at the old age and wonder if we were special to someone or something. NEVER BEING HERE.

All the religions were then started to support the idea of being special.

This has got to stop. There is no specialness on Oneness.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

"comparison" shit

This whole thing that I am doing "judging" myself
is simply "comparison" shit.
As I look out at the world or in my thoughts, I see that I pit myself against myself! lol
Well I believe that All I see and think is separate from me so then I compare myself to it as in where do I fit in to what I see. Am I better than what I see or less than what I see/think.
This is what the tree of life said to me.
And now I see "again" how extensive it is.

But this time within seeing that I am still doing it and I gave myself a good lashing for it! lol well I got mad at tired at me. I have "woken" up more to see it in the moments. Like now I am more observing of myself to catch this action/believe that I have always done and live as. And I stopped the anger when I see and it is like "oh you thinking that, okay stop I am not going to go there.
It was really weird to stop these judgments, I saw how attached I was to this defining of me as am I good enough to what I see or am doing. I felt... lost!! haha at first. Then I breathed and just was Here, and I was okay.
How strongly I held onto the idea that I need to define myself..

My melt down

wow, cool experience yesterday. it was like a purging as I allowed myself to be angry and did not stop it, as it unfolded to many areas of what I have been doing with self judgment of the "right thing to do" mind construct.

today I just feel, hm HERE with me and it is okay.
I can see that what ever I do needs not to have a right or wrong attached to it and I can just be me. Thou I "knew" this, i knew I was doing it, I guess the melt down, like solmaz said was my screaming of THIS IS ENOUGH. :)

It was I was judging that I was judging! And then could not stop it or see it.