Wednesday, July 15, 2009

"comparison" shit

This whole thing that I am doing "judging" myself
is simply "comparison" shit.
As I look out at the world or in my thoughts, I see that I pit myself against myself! lol
Well I believe that All I see and think is separate from me so then I compare myself to it as in where do I fit in to what I see. Am I better than what I see or less than what I see/think.
This is what the tree of life said to me.
And now I see "again" how extensive it is.

But this time within seeing that I am still doing it and I gave myself a good lashing for it! lol well I got mad at tired at me. I have "woken" up more to see it in the moments. Like now I am more observing of myself to catch this action/believe that I have always done and live as. And I stopped the anger when I see and it is like "oh you thinking that, okay stop I am not going to go there.
It was really weird to stop these judgments, I saw how attached I was to this defining of me as am I good enough to what I see or am doing. I felt... lost!! haha at first. Then I breathed and just was Here, and I was okay.
How strongly I held onto the idea that I need to define myself..

1 comment:

Ruben said...

Thanks for sharing!