PURPOSE and Process

Yesterday I was very frustrated. So I started writing it out. It turned into a self pity thing as I was writing. Then I start asking myself questions as this works really well for me. So this is part of the way the process went.
This is me trying to figuar it out. I am not posting the whole thing cause it was just a pity party.

....See I dont know if it the guit that is the problem or that this is become a habit that is the problem or that there is even a problem to begin with as I am just making it up because one of my things is self pity..
Ohh boy what a mess..
And right now I SEE.. it is because I do anything to avoid being HERE.

Okay Adele get real!! (now I start yelling at myself lol)
YOU DONT LIKE ANYTHING THAT YOU "HAVE" TO DO!!! FOR YOU YOURSELF!! BECAUSE YOU DONT SEE A PURPOSE FOR YOU. IF YOU CANT MAKE UP SOME REASON TO HAVE A PURPOSE THAT YOU "LIKE" YOU HATE IT. IF IT IS SOMETHING YOU HATE TO DO. YOU HATE TO DO IT AND WONT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE.

SHIT i CAN NOT LIVE OR MOVE WITH OUT A PURPOSE THAT I MAKE UP THAT FEELS GOOD TO ME.
SO MY PURPOSE HAS TO FEEL GOOD. MAKE ME FEEL GOOD

SO IS MY LIFE ABOUT FEELING GOOD? YES ISNT THAT WHAT LIFE IS? SO THEN THERE IS THE POLARITY OF FEELING GOOD AND NOT FEELING GOOD.
SO THEN WHAT DO WE .......
OH SHIT...SO THEN WHAT DO WE JUDGE AS A GOOD LIFE? SO DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE JUDGED AS GOOD OR BAD? FEELING GOOD OR BAD. IS THAT HOW I JUDGE ME AS LIFE?

YES...I JUDGE ME AS LIFE AS GOOD OR BAD...

wow ... you have to see it for YOURSELF.. That is what that means no one can tell you anything. the secret is right in front of your face. the truth is right in front of your face ...polarity polarity!!!

LOL Can it be that simple?!!! I WAS JUDGING LIFE AS GOOD OR BAD! I WAS JUDGING ME AS LIFE AS GOOD OR BAD..LOL EVERY MOMENT WAS BEING JUDGED AS GOOD=HAPPY OR BAD=NOT HAPPY
WOW
THAT EASY THAT SIMPLE ===POLARITY!!
LOL
EVEN THE INFINITY SYMBOL IS POLARITY GOOD AND BAD AS TIME IS REALLY GOOD AND BAD IN ANUS VISION (Anu is the symbol of the NATURE of US) AS HE KNEW CREATION HAD A BEGINNING=GOOD AND END = BAD.....=TIME ..


SO HE DEVISED A WAY WITH THE INFINITY SYMBOL TO KEEP THE BAD =END OF TIME FROM HAPPENING.. [i]THUS CREATED THE CONTINUAL LOOP OF GOOD AND BAD THAT IS TIME[/i] ...BECAUSE THE CREATION HAD THE STARTING POINT OF BEING/GOOD WHICH HAD TO INCLUDED BAD...JUST FROM THE IDEA THAT SOMETHING IS CONSIDERED GOOD.!!!
SOOOO IF WE STOP THIS IDEA OF GOOD AND BAD...GUESS WHAT!

SHIT I FIGURED OUT THE FUCKING PURPOSE CRAP. ALL=DOWN TO ME AND MY FEELING OF GOOD OR BAD AND DEFINING MYSELF AS THAT AS LIFE.

So my trinity as life was made up of the idea of good /bad = life
happy/not happy= life


Well I got a bit excited with this
as I

REAL EYES THE NATURE OF ME IN REGARDS TO PURPOSE.

The purpose, pre pose. The pose I had was I Am The Living manifestation Of Good/happy and Bad/unhappy

So I see this now. Its my birthday
:) lol
Now I have to walk