I unleashed a massive unconscious stress that I had running all along but did not see it until
I took a course in college last quarter.
There were 6 assignments due each week and every day for the 3 months I was in constant stress and fear that I could not do the assignments correctly. I had Computer Science , Logic and Python programing all in one week.
The biggest fear was that if I did not pass this class I would not be fully admitted to college as I was accepted conditionally to see how I would do. Now this would affect financial aid. And that was the fear. That I would lose my chance to go to college because I could not afford it other wise.
The next fear was what would people think of me as if I did not pass I would have “failed”...
What a horrible word really, wow I had know idea that the word fail= fear. Fear of failing.
And who tells you, you have failed? Authority – someone who has control of what you can and can do do because of money..
The demand for quality performance according to what another thinks of you is fearful.
This fear has started as a child when I did something I was happy and proud of and it was criticizes by an adult.
Or I would talk of what I wanted to do when I 'grew” up and was seen as a stupid idea, or when I wanted to take swimming classes and was not supported in this financially as it was seen as not necessary.
These things seem trivial to what conditions other children with out food or shelter have. Yet we all suffer from the current money system = with out money you are nobody and are not supported as life.
But supported accordingly to what you can do to 'feed' the money system.
Thus all of life suffers with this system, even the ones who 'have” are not really living, they live as a system of money and that is all they can see and behave as...
We as humanity have not supported Life- We support Money...
1 comment:
cool Adele
Post a Comment