Friday, April 11, 2008

defining ourselves

How would we be if we did not define our selfs. I noticed when I woke up this morning, well as I became aware that I was not sleeping anymore you know when things are still groggy as it feels like quatom thoughts like they are all happing at the same time and then the mind wants to interpret them. It is the same as waking up and remembering your dream, but I do not have abstract dreams much anymore, I wake up with thoughts just like the day is continuing from the previous day. Its like I wake up talking to myself. And this morning I was thinking gee what a good time to script my day, just as I am waking up in a dream like time. So I said to I will be productive..and then I realized that I had to define the word productive. So I defined it as not having feelings of guilt for the day. And what that pertains to me at the moment is, I have 3 things that I want to do a day. One is to write everyday here on my blog, two is to write my book which I have great resistance for some reason, and three to respond to posts on the open forum. Actually I have resistance to all of these. And as I searched for reasons why I would have resistance ... umm one just came up now, and that was, "people judging my writing" and what I have to say. I would want people to like it and would not want any confrontations. So this is really a stupid reason, because my whole life I had fantasies about writing a book about my life! But I would never start it. And now I have people that are urging me too and even saying it is one of my biggest transcending points!

Well ha ha, I got off the subject of "what if we did not define our selfs?"
Or did I?? Anyway, If we had no definition of ourself or our life we would be free. But this freedom is scary to people because if they didn't have a mind definition of them selves they feel they would become nothing and the ego can not take that. So anyway think about who you would be with out defining your self, you can start by listing what you think you are. Okay I am going to do that also. Till next time. :-)

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