Wednesday, February 13, 2008


I remember one day as a little child I was riding my bike through the wonderful park that was at end of my street. I must of been around 10 years old then. That park was huge! And by huge I mean that park had lots and lots of trees. It had 13 mile's of winding roads going all through it and it had a river and a lake. It is suppose to be one of the biggest parks that is inside city limits in the United States! .....So I was a happy little kid just then, riding my bike though there on a warm summer day. As I was coasting down one of hills in the park a station wagon passed me by. It was an old one compared to todays models it must have around 1960. There was a family in there, two adults and two kids in the back. They had dark colored skin. I was happy to see them drive pass me because I felt ..oh cool ... some other people were getting to enjoy the park on this wonderful day. It felt like I got to share the happy moment. So I gave them a wave and a smile as they were passing me. The little kids in the back smiled and started to wave to me and just as they did the two adults, Mom and Dad I guess, started to yell at them. They were telling them not to waving at me, then they.... the Mom and Dad looked at me and shouted out something really mean ...I can't remember what now. All I remember was I was devastated. I didn't understand. Why didn't they like me? What did I do? It really through this little kid for a loop! That ended my happy ride in the park and I went home and asked Mom what that was all about? I don't remember her exact words but it was something about that they have different color skin and that she isn't prejudice but that we have to live separate from them cause they were different or something.... They lived on the other side of the city. Well I didn't get it. It made no sense to me at all what that reason was. But she seemed not to be able to explain it any better. So she told me not to worry about it. And I pretended I did.

Interesting, that experience is still a memory with me at this age of 54. All I know was that what ever reason I was given seem absurd. But now from there, and I am sure there were other absurdities before then, I went on to experience the world and its absurdities This is the meaning from the dictionary = having no rational or orderly relationship to human life, so unreasonable as to be ridiculous .

...So was planted the seed of how life was to be lived. Little did I know at the time that the very fact that I was told not to "worry" about it created the very opposite in my life...when we create a blind eye to the insanity of the world ... we will live that. And in another way saying "not to worry about it" means to do nothing about it. So in a sense I was given the go ahead to live an absurd I did! I want to say here that now I have no blame on my parents because that was how they were taught to live . As I see now the whole world was taught to live.

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